11: Trusting Yourself After Divorce

Summary Brian Mayer speaks with Carmen Roman, Ph.D. who is a psychotherapist with 25 years of experience practicing in San Jose, California.  She works mainly with couples and families.  Today, she talks all about how to trust again after the pain of divorce.  She gives lots of great advice and strategies about getting emotionally healthy and moving forward into a new relationship.  She also shares the many mistakes she has seen in her experience that slow that progress.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com Today's Goodies Carmen discusses the good news about moving past a divorce.  She says the experience we gain from the divorce can help to not make the same mistakes again.  With time to reflect on what did and did not work previously can help with future relationships.           Some common mistakes to avoid include hoping that your partner will complete you or make you whole. She also talks about the mistake of hoping to change whatever we do not like in the other person, but she describes that it is difficult if not impossible to change someone else.         Carmen says the key to recovery is to honor the grief process, meaning we must walk through it in order to heal.  Things like actually writing a list of needs in the next partner is critical.  She also suggests one year to move through grief and work past each milestone such as birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.  Once remarried, avoid comparisons to previous spouse.  Be clear about things like children, finances, and other family and how each of you see that working.         Resources Mentioned There is No Prince by Marilyn Graman and Maureen Walsh Choosing Me before We by Christine Arylo Connect with Carmen: Website – www.emotionsinharmony.com Email her at [email protected] Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DraCarmenRoman/ Twitter https://twitter.com/DraCarmenRoman YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/cafecitovirtual   Thanks For Listening! With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode.  If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. It would be extremely helpful, it you would consider leaving a rating and review on Apple devices at iTunes  or on Android devices at Google Play as it will help the podcast reach others who need help in rebuilding life and relationships The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!