55: Does Praying Together as a Couple Work?

Summary Brian Mayer talks about praying together as a couple.  We often think about praying for a meal or praying when we are in true crisis, but what about day to day life as a couple?  Sometimes this is a tough issue especially when each of you are on different pages regarding the willingness to make this a part of your life.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com Today's Goodies The dictionary definition of prayer is a request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship.  In my opinion the only type of prayer that works is a prayer to the God who created the universe, but I understand that the dictionary definition takes into account what others might believe.  We often think about prayer being done in a church, a hospital when someone is sick and dying, or around the dinner table to bless a meal.  But what about utilizing it as a powerful part of connection with you and your partner?  As we all know, marriages end in divorce about 50% of the time.  What if I told you that less than 1% of married couples who prayer every day will eventually get divorced.  I have heard this statistic in many places, but I would be lying if I told you I could find the scientific research to back this up.  Nonetheless, from what I know and understand I can that this could be true. What is prayer good for?  Let’s discuss:  When you pray together, you humble yourselves to something bigger than who you are.  This often will reduce selfishness which can get all into trouble.  When we become selfish we often lose sight of our partner and their needs.  When you pray for your partner, you will often find you cannot be angry at the same time.  It’s like if I told you to both love and hate a person.  You might be able to say that you hate what someone is doing, but that you love them.  This is not the same as both hating and loving someone and so again prayer typically will have you loving your partner more.  Prayer can unify you as a couple and make you stronger.  There is a passage in Deuteronomy 32 which says something like one person can send a thousand to flight, but two people can send 10,000 to flight.  This means that the power of coming together in prayer doesn’t mean you double your power together, but that it multiplies 10 fold.  Amazing!  Prayer can help each of you lift the burdens of your daily communication and conflict struggles onto a God who is greater.  The act of you both coming together to ask for help, when you can’t figure it out on your own is especially freeing.      So now that we understand some of the reasons that prayer is helpful you might ask yourself, then how should we prayer. A model for good prayer is found in Matthew 6:9-13.  It says “This, then, is how you should pray:  Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread.  And forgive us our debts,  as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation,  but deliver us from the evil one.” If you break that prayer done, it basically says to: Acknowledge God is separate and holy Understand that his ways are higher and will eventually win out Give us what we need Forgive what we have done wrong as we are called to forgive others Protect us from falling in the future especially when an outside force like Satan is attacking.  Another very specific way to pray that I would like you to do as a couple is to do something that is called “The Six Minutes that will change your Life.”  I wish I could remember exactly who to attribute this to, but I cannot.  However it goes something like this: As a couple get seated comfortably, facing each and holding hands Gaze into each other’s eyes (which you may not have done since your wedding day) Then take turns one by one with the following subjects: Thanksgiving – each of you take a minute praying for what you are thankful for regarding specific things your partner is doing that you appreciate Forgiveness – each of you should take a minute while still looking into each other’s eyes asking your partner for one, two, or maybe three things that you have done wrong that you need forgiveness (see Session 32 for more on learning how to forgive – www.theremarriedlife.com/session32 ) Blessing – each of you should take a minute to ask God to bless your partner for who they are or what they have done (and be specific about what it is you want for your partner). My hope is that you will work to implement prayer into your lives as individuals and as couples.  Many people report that it changes things for the better.  Because again when you focus on love and what is best for your partner, you generally cannot be angered or hate at the same time.  Resources: None Mentioned Today Thanks For Listening! With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode.  If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​ As always remember that marriage is nothing something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.