70: Dropping Off and Picking Up the Kids

Brian Mayer talks about the transition from one parents home to the other can sometimes be difficult for all involved.  We will talk about those difficulties and we will brainstorm some ways to do it better so that kids don’t take on the stress of the divorce or separation that the two of you are going through.  We hope you are inspired by what you hear today.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com Today's Goodies The transitions that kids (and you) go through when dropping them off and picking them up from the ex-spouse can be some of the most difficult times.  It makes it harder when your kids are younger, because one is that you all have more time to have to deal with this transition issue and secondly you have to take more care and interact more with an ex-spouse if the kids are younger.  The transition can certainly be a painful experience for everyone involved.  In some ways if things don’t go well, it can feel like a nightmare that plays itself over and over again every week or every couple of weeks.  And of course you multiply that by two because you have to both drop off and pick up.  There are even situations where the transition is drawn up in the courts, but one or both of you stray from that.  It may not be much of a problem if both of you are on the same page when it comes to these transitions.  Often this is not the case. So there is lots of things to consider when it comes to this, but what we will focus on today is how to make it better for the children.  Hope to help you cope with your ex-spouse will come iDrn a later episode.  There are of things you can do to help the children, but I found an article on this subject to be so on target that I wanted to share the items.  It is an article on the website called verywellfamily.com that was written by Jennifer Wolf.  I will add a link to the show notes in the resource section so you can check it out.  Here are some of her suggestions to help kids with the transitions: Develop a plan with your ex-spouse up front Communicate with the Children Before Give the Children Choices regarding what to bring Ask them What they Might be Looking Forward To Discuss Communication Option While Away (get agreement from an ex-spouse) Develop a Goodbye and Hello Ritual that becomes something they can count on Set Aside Your Own Anger and Anxieties Just remember as much as you hurt or are angered over the situation do your best to keep this to yourself.  These anxieties and hurts will certainly rub off on your children.          Resources: Making Custody Transitions Easier For Your Children:  https://www.verywellfamily.com/make-custody-transitions-easier-on-your-kids-4123658 Thanks For Listening! With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode.  If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​ As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.