97: Are You Contemplating Divorce Again?

Brian Mayer talks the difficult subject of thinking about divorce again.  It is very common to have these thoughts again in a subsequent marriage.  We will talk about this issue and some of the issues that could be a signal that you are beginning to walk down that path.  You have to make you own decision to be sure but this episode will hopefully help you to pause and process through this pretty significant issue.   We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com Today's Goodies If you are divorced and remarried to someone else and have ever thought about divorce you are very normal.  This is a very common thought.  Of course the frequency of the thought along with the severity of the circumstances will certainly determine the likelihood this might actually happen.  Fun fact about marriages and divorce, by a man by the name of Glynn Wolfe holds the record for most monogamous marriages in U.S. history at 29.  He even remarried 3 of the women he had previous divorced.  He probably also holds the record for most thoughts about divorce most likely although something we cannot verify.  Now back to thoughts and actions that might be driving you toward divorce, but before that I must admit I have had thoughts about divorce in my second and current marriage.  These thoughts actually occurred maybe 1-2 years into my marriage.  Fortunately it was only said once and was in anger (not great but quickly determined there was no basis in reality for this.  Now let’s talk a bit about the things you may have thought about or actually that could mean that you thoughts about divorce could have more substance.  If you think about divorce when you are not emotional or angry. You have discussed divorce with a close friend, family member, clergy or other professional.  You have thoughts about what it might be like to be alone again at times when you are not angry. You have researched divorce attorneys.    You are hiding money or have set up a separate bank account.  You currently have separate bank accounts and you are doing things with your money that you know your spouse may not approve.  You have discussed specific plans for divorce with your spouse and have thought a lot about how and what you might say.  You have had thoughts about how the kids would be shared and how time might be divided up.  You have been separated with your current spouse in the past or currently.  If you have thought or done these things above then for sure you are probably further along in your desire for divorce than simply just having a fleeting thought.  Now do any of these mean that you are working toward divorce without potential for return, of course not.  You can always make a different choice.  Remember though physical abuse is a much different animal and safety is the number one priority.  You must ensure you are safe first and all else takes a back seat.  Other than physical abuse, you can work on the issue of thinking about divorce in a constructive manner with your spouse assuming of course they are looking to work for it as well.  Just remember there is always hope and you can turn things around.  This happened for me when I had a brief thought about throwing in the towel on my second marriage.    Resources: None Mentioned Today Thanks For Listening! With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode.  If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​ As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.